He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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