Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
