I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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