Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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