There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
