Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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