is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
