its not stalking. its research.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Randomize
