I could have mohawked her pubes.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
