One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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