you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
