This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
