i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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