Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
