he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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