just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The Olympian is in my bed
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
