so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
