Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
