Christians are straight up FREAKS
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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