just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
do herpes really smell.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
