Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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