Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
