Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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