Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
