Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
