Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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