my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
