found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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