you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
