Porn is love you can see.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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