Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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