The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
