Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize