since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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