i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
