Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
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Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
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And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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