Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
