Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
