Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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