just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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