I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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