I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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