I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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