We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
