I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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