Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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