It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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