OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
