sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
