Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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