I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
