I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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