Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You need a sexual gate keeper
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
