We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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