Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
