he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
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You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
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Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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