Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
